I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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