Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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