I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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