I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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