I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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