a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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