Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
A+ Viking dick
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
