Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

You tried to poop in the sink last night.

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(775): View more from Nevada

You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...

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(210): View more from Texas

I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish

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(513): View more from Ohio

I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.

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(917): View more from New York City

Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.

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(807): View more from Ontario

Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.

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