At least make sure they are 18
Why
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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