She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
