It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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