i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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