The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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