she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
