New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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