I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
