I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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