He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize