He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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