Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
