It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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