Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
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One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
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Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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