Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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