Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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