youre lurking in front of me
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize