dude i'm inner monologue high
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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