Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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