in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
