You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
