just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
