is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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