So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
