I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize