Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
