i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
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I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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