So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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