dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
