do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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