For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
