I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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