I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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