i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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