I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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