my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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