He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
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i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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