How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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