Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
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I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
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There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.