Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.