I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
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Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.