last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
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you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
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That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.