who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
