I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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