the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
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i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
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Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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