the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
