part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
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we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
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My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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