I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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