I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
