I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I love you. Go after that dick
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
