it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
