i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize