Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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