I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
