school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
