there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
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HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
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so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
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