I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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